Farting loudly
At first, please forgive me to tell you a joke:
A lady went to see her doctor: "Doctor, I've had problems with silent gas emissions. At home, work, or at church I get lots of silent gas emissions. As a matter of fact I've had three sitting here talking to you. What are we going to do?"
Her doctor said: "The first thing we're going to do is check your hearing."
But I am sure my hearing is perfect. I used to have silent fart, and not so many farts. But since I was married or moved to England, I started to fart loudly, and more frequently.
My wife was notorious among her roommates. Ａｌｌ Ｃｈｉｎｅｓｅ ｙｏｕｎｇ ｕｎｉｖｅｒｓｉｔｙ ｓｔｕｄｅｎｔｓ lived in students domitory, those ａｃｃｏｍｏｄａｔｉｏｎｓ were all equiped with three or four bunk double decker bed. My wife liked to occupy the upper deck. The first thing that ｓｈｅ would do was to announce her wakeup by a loud noise! Ｈer lower decker roommate always seems to startled: "My Heaven, not again! Are you wake up， Mian?"
I read an article in ａ famous celebrity magazine, the movie star said: one good thing of marriage is ｔｈａｔ you can fart loudly anywhere in front of another man, even sitting on his lap.
That's true. In a Chinese novel, a young lad and a beautiful girl, who were living in a village which was famous for its green Chinese onions, ran away secretly to an unknow place far away from home with an intentｉｏｎ to live together. On the way of their elopement, they bacame very hungry, so they sat down, the girl opened her package and shared her bun and fresh onions with her lover. While they were eating, the lad heard a very loud fart, to his astonishment, the fart came out of her fairy-like girl friend！ Ａfter the shock, he was quite amused, and asked: "How can a beautiful girl like you also fart as loud as this? I have never imagined of it." Then he did so himself.
The reason that my stomach increased gas productivity was changing food structure. I used to eat boild rice and vegetable with fried pork or chicken, but my main food now has been changed to bread and oats porridge with roasted chicken or beef with salad or colosaw.
Never mind, loud or not, as long as nobody around!